Did you ever have a strange and subtle feeling that someone telling you a personal story is hiding something else under that story? Or like telling you that story she or he has been taking something from you (your time, your space, your freedom)?
When we share our stories with other people, it looks on the surface that we simply share what happened and we share our thoughts and emotions about the event.
But that is just a surface; what we present in our stories is mainly our perception of what happened, not reality.
And that complex of perception filters contains a range of our personal beliefs, our patterns of judgments, our present focus, and our personal interest in the event. There are also other hidden influences on our perception we are often not aware of; these influences are experienced when we try to figure out “why I did it?!” – and we don’t know why.
What are you aware of – you are in control of; what are you not aware of – is in control of you (Anthony DeMello)
Telling personal story is telling about yourself – what you tell in your story is who you are (or more precisely – what you think is who you are). That’s ok if we would acknowledge that fact – there is no need to find the one objective perception as such thing doesn’t exist in reality.
This is why there is no need to present any personal story during a Systemic Constellation Workshop to set up personal constellation. If you’d like to participate in active way (means – set up your constellation during workshop) you’d be asked to present your enquiry which might be only one but important question (example: “I have ongoing issues in my love relationships” or “I struggle with major changes in my life”; “I can’t deal with my family”); facilitator would ask you briefly regarding basic info about your life circumstances, and that’s enough to start.
The beauty of the Systemic Work is that this method reveals hidden orders ruling our life and our relationships, and reveals entanglements in our system of relationships – usually covered by a story built by the person upon her/his perception filters.
How it works, that force of disclosing the hidden reality of our relationship system?
The concepts of the Morphogenetic Fields, of the Hologram, of the Resonance help us to peer a bit into the phenomenon of hidden orders and entanglements in a relationships system.
Every person carries inside a whole image (a hologram) of her/his family system, including past generations. That image as a hologram is projected into a space when a work about personal issues is conducted (in an individual therapy, in a group therapy, in a Systemic Constellation Workshop).
To say it more generally – wherever we go, we carry with us a hologram of our relationships system, and in some moments in our life that hologram would be showing up naturally in little bits (example: the way we use our gestures is coming from our internal holographic identification from our family system; that is a tiny piece of the whole hologram of a family but still it is a holographic representation).
There is only one prerequisite to have benefits from inquiring about your life important matters: your willingness to be open to see new things. According to simple wisdom quote from Albert Einstein: No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.
Author: Hania Gorski (formerly Hania Moser)
Systems in our Life - Entanglement and Success 