Orders of Love – Orders of Success

Systemic Constellations method of working with persistent issues by exploring natural orders in systems was firstly formulated by Bert Hellinger about 40 years ago as Orders of Love. Since then it has been developing by the author as well as by other practitioners, with the name more popular now – the Systemic Constellation Work .

appleIn the kitchen I sit still and observe a nice composition of apples in a basket; they all are of the same kind, all shiny and colourful, fresh and juicy, inviting to taste them. But being of the same kind, they are so different; this one has a little scar, another has less symmetric shape, one is bigger, other is small, colours are spread in slightly different patterns…I look at them and think: how that happened that they are the same but different? They came maybe from the same tree, but they were growing on different angles, one having more sun, another one having more shade. What was their way of appearing like they appear now? How many trees were growing in endless cycle of bringing fruits, attracting eaters to spread their seeds, so new trees could grow – and, as the effect, beautiful apples are smiling to me in my kitchen…

We can observe natural orders in life – in continuous work of Nature; a fruit is a development of a tree as a result of an inner order driving a tree to produce a fruit.          (By the way – to have a one good apple there must be apparently an effort of thirty leaves…another good example of necessary connections and orders… And off course to addition of the inner order of a tree to develop an apple there must be a good soil, a good climate, and no severe interruption in the order).

The method of the Systemic Constellations Work (SCW) is based on the idea that system of relationships we are linked into from the moment of birth – has a primary (natural) order of belonging, chronology of events, and inner priorities. That order is applied to all stages and dimensions of our life.

In respect to a proper (natural) order in relationship system – love ought to flow in a non-interrupt way. Then relationships in system are functional and bring fulfillment. That is success. In a wide sense – the whole net of people relationships is as healthy, as much as the orders of relationships between units of the net are functional and healthy. That relates to social, community, work and political nets.

How do we recognize that natural order? It would be a deep sense, experienced by a person, that everything is in place and development is going in a positive way. That is a sense of success.

Orders are hidden, unconscious. Despite we are aware of them or not – they shape our relationships; their consequences are experienced in our life; behind a fruit development orders are also hidden, but we can see a visible result of these orders in a fruit.

When the love flow in relationships is disrupted (by events or decisions made for different reasons) the order in relationship system became dis-ordered; dis-order then shapes unconscious dys-functional patterns, repeated in many areas of one’s life – not only in personal relationships but also in social, work and wide community systems.

The SCW method aims to explore a systemic background of issues and hidden patterns, and to find solutions to the issues by connecting what was disrupted, dis-ordered, and separated in relationships system, by looking back at our primary system of belonging – our family, including past generations of our family system.

What is an issue? It could be described as an obstacle, a disruption, a dis-order related to a natural order. An obstacle for a person to feel happy, satisfied, fulfilled and peaceful – in any area of life.

Finding roots of the obstacle in order to transform them, bringing order to dis-order – is a way to bring happiness and success in life. From this perspective – success in private life is inseparable from success in work and business.

Hellinger wrote: “Often we distinguish between the realms of family, personal fulfillment, and personal happiness in relationships on the one hand, and the realm of work and its successes and relationships on the other, as if we were able or permitted to separate them. They still follow the same laws of success and failure, and of fortune and misfortune, the same laws and orders in life and in love.

In the beginning, family constellations were applied primarily to personal relationships. They brought to light the fundamental orders of love, according to which our relationships succeed or fail. As I began to investigate the laws of success and failure in work and profession, and increasingly also in business and organizations, it became apparent that they, too, followed the same orders.” (Hellinger, www.hellinger.com – in Monthly Letters)

Hania Gorski


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