Systems in our Life – Entanglement and Success

Are you afraid of being spontaneous? Do you feel sometimes like missing your true Self in everyday routines and in your attitudes in relationships?

Every time when I introduce the concept of Systemic Constellation Work (SCW) to people who don’t have any direct experience with this method – I do some kind of self-examination, asking myself few basic questions:

• Why I think that might be interesting for this particular person?
• What is so unique that I want people to get access to this method?
• What would be the best language to convey that special experience to people who don’t know it?

I’d like to answer now to some of these questions from the point of authenticity.

The issues with being authentic start from the beginning of our life. We learn how to get our needs satisfied by being like our caregivers want us to be.  We learn also that what we want might be not liked by others. These external pressures create an inner and subconscious pressure – “in order to belong I have to be like they want me to be”.  In this light a need to be ourselves is in a painful constant conflict with a need of belonging/a need of being loved.

How tragic is the cost of belonging by losing ourselves…and even more tragic is that not being ourselves makes limitations in Love flow…Hopefully we can discover in our journey through life that actually embracing our True-Self is a necessary condition in  having authentic relationships and love. And in belonging.

The promise of the Systemic Constellation method is that we can see what was distorted in us in order to belong, and we can liberate ourselves from the fear of being authentic.

The challenge of the Systemic Constellation method is that we need to take a risk of bringing our true Self into the process of constellation, allowing ourselves to feel, to see and to be authentic.

Being authentic is always a risk of taking off social masks and being vulnerable. Often we don’t believe that being ourselves is something valuable for others. Yet, such experience of being ourselves and feeling it valuable is a part of the experience of systemic constellation workshop – as I experience and I hear from participants. That experience is safe, and it could be taken into everyday life as an inspiration to value more authenticity, and to practice more authenticity in all our relationships.

Hania Gorski